Thursday, September 06, 2007

the mask that everyone MUST wear in the life

Everyone is wearing a mask, undenyable... why i mentioned this?
I had thought of my past life in my buddhist society, Qi Yuan ( Jetavana Monastry [JM]).
I had made a discussion with 1 of my senior, Kuok Kang. He has told me alot of things which I know. I'm wondering now, maybe he is thinking that I'm hiding myself from exposing to the world, cheating myself. Yea, I did cheat myself sometimes. Yet, I still faced the fact in the end. I understand that no matter how I cheat myself, the fact will be still there. Hmm...
Maybe lst night i was cheating myself, and cheating him as well. Anyway, I thought of everything we chatted the whole night. He has mentioned that the attitude I gave orders are impolite. Besides that, he did mention about my communication skills. In my way, what he mentioned are all communication skills, but he disagreed. Anyway, that's not the matter. As long as I got what i get from that discussion.

First of all, when I tell everything happened on me to him, he has stopped me. He has said that I'm cheating me myself instead of saying anything bout the issues. Hmm..
Maybe i was keep thinking in my way, I unable to pull myself out of it and think in other way.
Oh yea, in the end of the discussion he did not reply me at all. I think it was because he felt that I'm keep cheating myself, never listen what he has told me.
Now I kinda agree with it. I do admit it. I am cheating myself sometimes, especially some serious case happened. Now, i have faced it. He helped me out.. yet I think he is kinda dislike me now... :(
anyway, He has made me understand that actually i should not continue with my current attitude. In my point view, attitude are included in the "Mask" i'm wearing. Therefore,
as i need to change everything, i must change my attitude and my communication skills. If everything is changed, a lot of things will be going fine, smoothly....
I did think of getting rid of the mask, but i had not found any ways to do it. Now, since the mask is a MUST for us to use it. Then, why not we change the mask and use it in a good way? a better way instead? At least we won't face the problems again and again. In a way, everyone does say " we get experience from what we have done. Human are not scary because of doing wrong, yet because of do not admit it." I think all of you agree with it bah.. I'm really messed up with what i'm writting now.. BLUR!!!
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